Micro-Failure Exposure for Growth

As a parent of young teenagers (12 & 15), I have been reading a lot about character development, grit, and the development of healthy striving and growth mindsets. In his book The Coddling of the American Mind, Jonathan Haidt references the antifragility work of Nassim Nicholas Taleb, the Lebanese-born statistician, stock trader, and polymath known for his work studying complex dynamic systems. And hey, guess what? Humans & groups/teams of humans are complex dynamic systems.

“Systems that are antifragile become rigid, weak, and inefficient when nothing challenges them or pushes them to respond vigorously. He (Taleb) notes that muscles, bones, and children are antifragile, “Just as spending a month in bed ... leads to muscle atrophy, complex systems are weakened, even killed, when deprived of stressors.””

— Jonathan Haidt, referencing Nassim Nicholas Taleb, The Coddling of the American Mind

At Failure Lab, we would argue that the concept of antifragility applies to all humans, not just children. In fact, as grownups, the more accomplished, successful, and comfortable we become, the less intrinsically motivating it is for us to actively seek “deliberate discomfort” as a tool for growth. We are successful and accomplished…we are finally GOOD at stuff….Why would we purposefully subject ourselves to experiences of potential embarrassment and discomfort?

The Benefits

1. Intellectual Strength & Agility: Just as muscle strength is developed through a cycle of micro-tearing and recovery through rest, so too is our intellectual and emotional strength nurtured. Small, manageable intellectual and emotional discomforts help us “work the muscles” of intellectual and emotional strength and endurance—literally priming our nervous system to be more efficient and effective in times of unforeseen stress.

2. Fighting Against Unconscious Competence: Humans have shockingly short attention/memory spans. Once we have mastered a skill, most of us will quickly forget what it was when we did not know how to execute said skill. The Four Stages of Competence, a framework made famous by Noel Burch in the ’70s, breaks competence down into four stages:

   • Unconscious Incompetence (Ignorance): We don’t know what we don’t know - we don’t even know about the thing.

   • Conscious Incompetence (Awareness): We know about the thing but don’t know how to do the thing.

   • Conscious Competence (Learning): We can do the thing, but we must think hard about it.

   • Unconscious Competence (Mastery): We can do the thing without thinking about it, and it is possible/likely that we have forgotten that we once did not know how to do the thing.

   Once we achieve mastery, the real work begins—the continuous task of keeping perspective. This has benefits for us (see point #1: Intellectual Strength & Agility) and has enormous benefits when it comes to working with others, particularly if you happen to be a leader of other humans. Our ability to relate to, train, teach, elevate, & inspire others is directly related to our ability to achieve competence and mastery WITHOUT forgetting how we got there.

   If we spend most of our lives in the Unconscious Competence state, it takes some deliberate disruption to break out of that comfort zone.

Some Suggestions

Here are a few simple, minimally painful exercises that can help us gain access to our “beginner”/learning mind.

1. Write with Your Non-Dominant Hand: This one is so simple and SO humbling. So. Incredibly. Humbling.

2. Try a New Physical Activity: Any type of new physical activity that requires a new & different type of coordination will keep your ego in check. You don’t need to gear yourself up for a whole new sport and commit to a new hobby to gain the benefits of this practice. Have your kid try to teach you a TikTok dance or learn a magic trick off of YouTube. Bonus: These types of exercises are really good for your cognitive health.

3. Deliberate Self-Reflection WITH Notes: This is especially helpful if you are actively trying to teach or train a skill, delegate a task, and/or set reasonable expectations with a colleague. Yes, you know how to do the thing. Yes, it would be faster if you just did it yourself. But sometimes, we have to slow down to go fast (delegate/expand capacity). Really think about how you became proficient at the skill in question.

   Write it out. On. Paper. Writing things down activates your brain in a helpful way. It forces you to slow down enough to sort & distill your thoughts. Draw the process. Reverse engineer that shit. Force yourself to remember. How old were you? How many times have you done the thing? What were the prerequisite skills that allowed you to be successful? Who helped you? How did they help you? Who was unhelpful? Why were they unhelpful?

   Now, this doesn’t mean that you have to completely recreate your entire & exact experience to teach & support someone else, but taking the time to thoughtfully & honestly reflect on your journey WILL HELP.

We hope that you try something just a little bit uncomfortable today!
XO,

Team Failure Lab