Why Empathy is Critical in Business & Leadership
Empathy at Work
Empathy in a business and leadership context can be perplexing and uncomfortable.
Question 1: “In professional and leadership relationships, Is empathy an important and desired leadership trait?”
Question 2: “How highly is it prioritized on the wish list of desired leadership traits? For yourself? For others? In theory? In practice?”
The first yes/no question is relatively simple. The answer is usually “yes.”
The second question, a question of degree or value, is more complicated.
At Failure Lab, we do these thought experiments with teams and organizations all the time, and the second question always has a lot of “buts” swirling around it. A lot of, “Yes, empathy is important, but not at the expense of…..” A lot of, “Yes, empathy is probably an important leadership skill, but we don’t really talk or train about it….and we definitely don’t have any real ways to prioritize it.”
At Failure Lab, we believe empathy is leadership's most foundational skill. Empathy is at the heart of all efficient and effective communication.
Before we go any further, let’s first get on the same page semantically. What are we actually talking about, and are we talking about the same thing?
What is Empathy?
Daniel Goleman, one of the first academics to popularize the importance of empathy and emotional Intelligence to the world, helps to unpack the nuance of empathy by defining three types of empathy.
Cognitive Empathy* (The desire to understand): Cognitive empathy is about perspective-taking. We intellectually imagine what it might be like to be a person in a specific situation or circumstance.
Emotional Empathy* (The desire to feel): Emotional empathy leverages the mechanisms of social mirroring and puts us in touch with what another person is feeling. You’re no longer just thinking about what they might be feeling; you’re in touch with those feelings yourself.
Compassionate Empathy* (The desire to help and support): This type of empathy goes beyond mere understanding and moves us to active altruism; it’s feeling with someone and feeling the desire to take supportive action.
It’s important to note that none of these three types of empathy is hierarchically “better” than another, and they are not mutually exclusive. They exist on a continuum, connecting and overlapping in many different ways.
The combination of cognitive and emotional empathy segues beautifully into another empathy frame: tactical empathy. Tactical empathy is a term coined by Chris Voss, the preeminent practitioner and professor of negotiation in the world. He developed his negotiation (and empathy) skills through “more than two decades of work in the FBI, including fifteen years negotiating hostage situations from New York to the Philippines and the Middle East.”**
Voss defines empathy as “paying attention to another human being, asking what they are feeling, and making a commitment to understanding their world.”3 Tactical empathy is one step beyond straight-up empathy; it is “understanding the feelings and mindset of another in the moment and also hearing what is behind those feelings. It is emotional intelligence on steroids.”**
Voss emphasizes that tactical empathy is “not about agreeing with the other person’s values and beliefs or giving out hugs….it is trying to understand a situation from another person’s perspective.”**
Let’s say it again because it is important.
You don’t have to agree with someone’s beliefs and values to work to understand a situation from their perspective.
Take it one step further. You don’t have to agree with someone’s beliefs and values to want to help move them toward a solution. That is leadership.
Empathy in Action
We have given you several useful definitions and frameworks to arm your toolbelt with several related but slightly different ways to think, talk, and practice empathy.
It doesn’t take a genius to infer just how important this might be in management and leadership, and yet, most leaders/managers receive very little training in these human-centered topics.
So, how do you, as an individual or leader, do the work of exercising your professional empathy skills?
Back to the most basic Failure Lab framework: Me, You, Us.
Understanding Self (Me): Self-reflection, self-reflection, self-reflection. Do I understand how I show up in the world? Do I understand what tendencies, traits, and assumptions I bring to every interaction?
Understanding Others (You): This is the empathy bullet. Am I consistently striving to understand how other people perceive the world? What tendencies, traits, and assumptions do they bring to every interaction? Am I actively inquiring to validate my assumptions?
Understanding Interactions (Us): Based on what I know about myself and others, how can we architect the most efficient and effective communication and collaboration? How do we get the job done better?
Organizationally, if you are not consistently investing time, energy, and attention on these basic questions, you are missing the boat.
There is an abundance of data that shows increased levels of productivity, effectiveness, employee engagement, reduction in attrition and employee turnover, and a host of other “bottom line” metrics in teams and organizations that have high levels of psychological safety, emotionally intelligent leaders, and culture-forward priorities.
Sustained cultural health must be embodied and championed by truly invested leadership. This is true in a gigantic corporation. It is true within a department or team. It is true in a family unit or community circle. Frankly, it is true at an individual “I am taking responsibility for how I show up and impact the world around me” level. Leadership happens in all spaces and places, in all shapes, sizes, and directions.
How are you going to improve your leadership today?
* Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Daniel Goleman
** Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if your life depends on it, Chris Voss